Hopeful future

I wasn’t really listening to the guest speaker until we stopped talking about schooling. But in one year I want to live in Colorado and have a job I actually like doing. I don’t want to deal with all the things I don’t like about this place. In five years I want to have a cooler car a career in ceramics and hopefully more than just an apartment. I want to have a dog or two or three maybe more now that Im thinking about it. I don’t think I will have a family by then but the world is very unpredictable. I don’t have much luck now with girls so I don’t imagine it changing too much in five years unless I get rich or something. In five years I want to have a completely different mindset, I hate thinking about so much all at once  it’s not even important things most of it is just random stuff  that I don’t even care about. Ten years from now I will have lost contact and/or forgotten  most of the people I know now which is sad to think about now but I think it is what I’m most excited for. All the things that are important now won’t mean a thing to me in ten years it will just be stupid high school stuff. I’ll wonder why I cared so much about it back then I might try and talk to some of these people again I might come back to my school I might look names up in the phone book I might be happy for people or I might just leave them all alone. I’m probably going to regret what I did as a teenager or wish I had done something else whether it is trying harder, or just plan better or at all even.  Fifty years from now if I make it that far I could still be alone and if so I will have lost my mind and be the crazy old guy holding up signs that don’t mean anything to anyone but me. Or I will have a family and friends I would actually look forward to something besides just closing my eyes for the final time. I’m not going to push for the end I’m not hoping it comes soon but I am looking forward to the end. That doesn’t mean I’m depressed or sad or anything just that I’ve accepted it.  I am going to live my life how I chose doing what I want when I want it, going where ever I want being whoever I want. And as I grow and change so will what I want.  The End.